Gaston

Gaston:
Who does she think she is?
That girl has tangled with the wrong man!
No one says "no" to Gaston!

LeFou:
Heh heh. Darn right.
Gaston:

Dismissed! Rejected! Publicly Humiliated! Why, it's more than I
can bear.

LeFou:
More beer?

Gaston:
What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced.

LeFou:
Who, you? Never! Gaston, you've got to pull yourself together.

LeFou:
Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston
Looking so down in the dumps
Every guy here'd love to be you, Gaston
Even when taking your lumps
There's no man in town as admired as you
You're ev'ryone's favorite guy
Ev'ryone's awed and inspired by you
And it's not very hard to see why

No one's slick as Gaston
No one's quick as Gaston
No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston
For there's no man in town half as manly
Perfect, a pure paragon
You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley
And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on

Chorus:
No one's been like Gaston
A king pin like Gaston

LeFou:
No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston

Gaston:
As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating

Chorus:
My, what a guy, that Gaston
Give five "hurrahs!" Give twelve "hip-hips!"

LeFou:
Gaston is the best And the rest is all drips

Chorus:
No one fights like Gaston
Douses lights like Gaston

Cronie:
In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston

Girls:
For there's no one as burly and brawny

Gaston:
As you see I've got biceps to spare

LeFou:
Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny

Gaston:
That's right! And every last inch of me's covered with hair

Cronies:
No one hits like Gaston

Townsman:
Matches wits like Gaston

LeFou:
In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston

Gaston:
I'm espcially good at expectorating Ptooey!

Chorus:
Ten points for Gaston!

Gaston:
When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs 
Every morning to help me get large 
And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs 
So I'm roughly the size of a barge 

Chorus:
No one shoots like Gaston 
Makes those beauts like Gaston 

LeFou:
Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston 

Gaston:
I use antlers in all of my decorating 

Chorus:
Say it again 
Who's a man among men 
And then say it once more 
Who's the hero next door 
Who's a super success 
Don't you know 
Can't you guess 
Ask his fans and his five hangers-on 
There's just one guy in town who's got all of it down 

Lefou:
And his name's G-A-S-T...G-A-S-T-E... 
G-A-S-T-O... Oh 

Chorus:
Gaston